Can we all just please spare a thought for all the people in the world who are in relationships? I know this post may really hit home with a lot of you so be prepared to have tissues nearby (and maybe a bucket, you never know). Being in a relationship you miss out on so much and so this post is dedicated to you. So now, as this paragraph comes to an end, I ask that you bow your head as a sign of respect before we move on.
First and foremost, couples are all alone, well, alone outside of each other. No one wants to be the third wheel to a couple so expect to hear more of the word 'no' when you ask someone to go out with you and your bae. Being in a relationship is just so entirely lonely. Not to mention how boring it would be to wake up next to the same person for a very long period of time. The mere thought of that amount of banality is just terrifying. Plus, when you try to get out of the house with your significant other you just end up annoying the people around you with your 'happiness'. Ugh, see, this is why I warned you about the buckets. Speaking of friends can we talk about social media? Well, yes, this is my blog, I do what I want, deal with it. When you are in a relationship you basically need to stay away from social media so as to resist the urge to share what you and your pal are doing or to resist posting that cute pic that took you thirty minutes to get last night. You know the one, where the two of you were kissing and there were party lights in the background. It made a cool effect but you are yet to notice the fact that everyone is giving you a wide birth. The struggles are most certainly real. Not to mention that you left the party early because hardly anyone came up to you two. Plus, your parents were not about to let you stay out late with your special friend in case anything untoward were to happen to their 'innocent' child. This is actually a great segue to my next point about sex. Yeah, I deliberately put this towards the end of this post so that you can stop reading right now. So, anyway, sex. When you are in a relationship you generally only have sex with that one person. Of course, if you are in an open relationship then it is different, as are threesomes. If you cheat it is also different but not good at all. People in relationships miss out on all the casual sex they could be having. It must suck (*big wink*) to have to know the person your having sex with and to have an emotional attachment with them. It is just so exhausting to have to care about who you fool around with. Plus, they miss out on all the after-sex awkwardness, that must suck. Not to mention they dramatically lessen their risk of contracting STDs/STIs. Geez, sex is no fun without a little danger.
We really should feel very sorry for those in relationships, it really does suck. See you soon.
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