Annoying Junk Emails

My inbox at the moment is so annoying at the moment because it is so full of junk mail that somehow made it past the filters (I guess Outlook really wants me to check out those latest deals and how to increase the size of my "manhood"). Seriously though, those emails are so annoying sometimes that I just want to spam them with endless bloody emails and see how they like it. I have never once shown any interest in any of the topics that they keep sending to me. The worst part is that when there is an important email I need to activate something that is when the filters kick in and send it to the junk folder. Outlook, get your damn act together! All I am saying is be prepared for a rant.

Source: http://www.ubergizmo.com/2013/05/hotmail-to-outlook-com-transfer-geeks-out-at-150-petabytes/

The emails themselves are just stupid and obviously fake. Forgive me for not jumping with joy when I find out that I have won a billion pounds in a lottery in the UK that I never even entered, let alone heard of. Who offers a billion pound reward anyway? If the lottery gave away that much money they would go broke, what do you take me for, an idiot? Do not answer that question. Then you get those 'official' emails from the supermarkets. I seriously received one that said the sender was IGA and yet the topic was Woolworths Vouchers. The worst part is that people must fall for it because they keep sending them out. If you are going to run a scam like that at least check that it makes sense. Now, onto those stupid emails about improving my "intimate life". Before I begin, I would like to clear up any doubt that males do not have the same genitals as our female counterparts. I know that most of us learn that pretty early on but apparently some scams are not as knowledgeable about these organs. I have seriously seen so many emails clearly tailored to men yet referencing enlargement of "our" (it specifically used this pronoun) breasts. Like, seriously, come on. If it is not bad enough that you bombard me with stupid emails, it is even worse that you do not even get your anatomy correct! Then there are the emails that are clearly meant to be coded such that the email will read your address and use the first part as your name. As my email starts with "manl97" I get several interesting emails regarding using manl97 as if it is my name. I must have forgotten to change it to Luke before I came out of the Womb. Woops, my mistake. Then I get those emails trying to set me up with "Local Sluts" or to get me on to the adult version of Facebook (they are so creative, they replaced Face with the F word). I mean, I know some  people see me as a player but I am only sixteen and the use of such sites is, technically, illegal. So next time you stupid scammers want to send me a stupid email, check to make sure it makes bloody sense before you fill up my inbox. Thank you.

Do you guys get as annoying junk mail as this? See you tomorrow!