My Problem with Jurassic World

Source: http://www.joblo.com/movie-news/exclusive-spoilery-details-on-jurassic-world-the-park-the-dinos-more

Again, I am going to preface this post by saying that I did enjoy Jurassic World a lot, so much so that I have seen it twice. It has already grossed more than the original movie has since it first came out in 1993 (that's a staggering $1.26 billion for Jurassic World as of June 30 2015, less than a month after its release). Yes, I did just Wikipedia that, I put a lot of work into this obviously. While I admire all the acting, especially Bryce Dallas Howard's portrayal of Claire, the female heroine (as in female hero, not the drug, that is spelt differently [not that I would know of course]) of the story who saves her nephews and the park all the while in heels. I can't even walk in heels [again, not that I've tried] and yet she runs from dinosaurs, walks through mud and dirt, treks the forest, runs from pterodactyls all the while looking like hell on high heels (literally on heels). However, my gripe is not with those heels but we will come back to Claire in a little while. Michael Giacchino's score again adds to the spectacle of Jurassic World (a score completely at odds with his work on Inside Out also released last month). All in all it is an amazing film that definitely stands up to the original and makes up for its two rather disappointing predecessors. However, despite all this and Bryce Dallas Howard's performance I do have one bone to pick with the character of Claire Dearing.

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJJrkyHas78

As you can see there is just so much wrong with this scene right now. First of all, HANG UP THAT DAMN PHONE CLAIRE! Seriously, she is not even driving on a normal road yet here she is speeding and on her phone. To top it all off, Claire is also full of adrenaline at this moment because of the fear of discovering that the Indominus Rex may have escaped its enclosure. As Claire puts it: "We have an asset out of containment!" Below you can view the trailer where this scene is shown (yes, I did pause the video and take a screenshot to get the picture above). It starts at 1:02 and only goes for a few seconds.

First of all, Claire, slow down. Wipe off five and save lives. I know you are in a rush to tell the control center that there is, and I quote, "an asset out of containment" but you are already talking to them on the phone. You getting there quicker will not change anything other than perhaps slowing them down if you interfere. In fact, when you do finally arrive they all just stop and stare at you after they have witnessed the Indominus Rex kill a few people (as one of Michael Giacchino's songs from the soundtrack is titled; the "Indominus Wrecks"). So yeah, speed all you like Claire but no matter how fast you go, you are powerless. Secondly, hang up the damn phone or at least put it on speaker. Before, when your sister called to check on her sons (your nephews) you were able to answer the phone using the hands free system that most modern cars now have, especially the modern cars that Masrani Global would provide to one of their highest employees. Yet here you found that you had to hold the phone while driving with one hand on the wheel at high speeds. I realise that Isla Nublar probably does not have a speed limit or any explicit road rules but you are setting a very bad example for all the viewers of this movie. Finally, Claire, why is that window down? I know Owen (played by Chris Pratt) was just in the car with you and that he stunk but still, it would probably be more effective to put your window down so that you would get the fresh air first. But no, the only window open is the one opposite for you. Spielberg, I know this made it easier to get this shot since her car windows are tinted but seriously, where is the sense in that? Not to mention the fact that Claire is on an island with prehistoric DINOSAURS. I kind of feel like having a window down may not be the smartest thing to do anywhere on that island, particularly not when you are driving alone in the middle of nowhere. Claire does seem to have a bad track record with windows though because when she is driving the truck later she has the window down and a velociraptor tries to jump inside. Granted, only its head made it through but still, the dinosaur was trying to eat you. I feel like that was a message to you so that you would learn to WIND UP YOUR BLOODY WINDOW WHEN YOU ARE ON AN ISLAND FULL OF DINOSAURS. However, here is a picture of Claire being the Claire that we come to love in this movie, and not the Claire that has no sense when it comes to driving vehicles on an island full of dinosaurs out to kill you.

Source: http://www.hypable.com/jurassic-world-claire-dearing-defense/

Just look at that face, Claire, you go girl (I feel like I have regressed a few decades). See you soon (as in the readers, not Claire, she's fictional).

Things No One Enjoys

This is a public service announcement. If you find yourselves doing any of these things, stop right away and move on with your life. Never look back at that time and never repeat yourself. Sincerely, the rest of human kind. Seriously though, there is so much that goes on around us that no one likes yet people still do it. They even make jokes about it. Who has ever heard on a train or tram "Oh, I'm on a (insert mode of transport) but I can talk"? Just stop, no one wants to hear your conversation and if the most exciting thing on my train ride home is listening to what you are going to do later that night than I would rather not. Feel free to comment down below or use the contact form to the right if there are any that you want to add. There is sure to be a lot more out there.

Source: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/are-these-the-worst-train-journeys-in-the-country-158563

While I am on the topic of trains and trams. If you are listening to music, make sure you use headphones. No matter what song is playing, if I am being bombarded by it on a crowded train I am not likely to want to listen to that song again and if you stay like that for more than 20 minutes you are not going to be able to listen to music on your newly-smashed iPod. If you are using headphones, do not have your music so loud such that you may as well not be wearing any. You too may find yourself in the market for a new phone/music player in the coming moments. Also, if you think you are so tough by drinking alcohol, riding between carriages or doing what you think are "Chin-Ups" then just stop. You look like a complete tool and are probably going to be mistaken for the Janoskians. Moving away from transport we come to the wonderful world of entertainment. First, let us go on a trip to the movies. If you are going to see a movie do not spend half of it either talking or using your phone. It annoys everyone else around you and, trust me, you are not the center of the Universe. Also, if you are coming in late, do it quietly and with as little disruption as humanly possible. Narrating your way down the aisle tends to ruin the movie experience. The same goes for live shows where it is even worse as they tend to cost a lot more than movie tickets. Back to transport, do not be an idiot on the roads. No sane person likes a hoon. They cause a disruption and are a public nuisance. Who cares if their cars are crushed or impounded? Every bad choice should have a consequence. Also, if you are on the Highway/Freeway do not travel in the fast lane while going 20km/h under the speed limit. If you do, you are going to get harassed because no one likes that. Also, do not suddenly decide to cross all the lanes in one giant leap as if you are Moses parting the red sea. No one likes that and no one likes you. Next we come to shopping. If you are going to use the self-serve at the peak periods then make sure you know what you are doing. Do not bother going there if you are just going to take ages to scan one item. Also, if you do not know what you want, do not go up and wait in line to order or purchase something. Have you never heard of looking around before or is this just some strange concept? Also, if you find yourself in front of an emergency vehicle, get out of the damn way. I have news for you, you can get charged for doing that!

Finally back to some long posts. See you tomorrow!

Creepy Driving

Tonight I went driving again and it was another very creepy experience. Aside from the impenetrable darkness, there were a lot of weird noises and things coming out of the dark and reflecting off in the distance. It did not really help that we were the only ones on the road and were, occasionally, on dirt roads in the middle of the road. It was a bad time to be walking around in a black and white suit. I am not the bravest of people so at least I remained alert.

I am sorry for another short post but I had a surprisingly busy day. See you tomorrow!

Adventures

There is just something about an adventure that makes you want to take it. Have you ever just wanted to take a random turn and see where it leads you? Ever walked the Dog and decided to go somewhere you have never been before for the sake of what you might find. It is this mystery that intrigues. It is ironic that it is this mystery that intrigues the majority of us yet it is also this mystery which frightens us. People are not afraid of the dark, they are afraid of the mysteries it holds. Though of course it is contradictions that make up most of our lives. Animals are one of our greatest friends while they can also be used as our greatest enemies. We seek help from strangers yet are forever weary of them. It is this contradiction that forms a strong basis in our lives and our love for adventure.

Source: http://www.redbubble.com/people/joweha/works/723301-mysterious-road

The other day I took one of these adventures on one of my walks with Sandy. As part of the training for Kokoda one of the activities on our scheduled exercise plans is a pack-walk where we walk with a backpack filled with some form of weight. Anyway, it is best to walk on uneven ground so concrete paths are not the best help. I then remembered an area near the river in an estate not too far from mine. It was a bit of a walk but Sandy and I finally made it (it would have been quicker if Sandy had been a little less curious but anyway). It was a great area full of grass and tress and if you went far enough in you could no longer see the houses and it was like being in your own private oasis. Also, as this place was not near any major roads it is always empty so Sandy and I go down there and explore. It is a lot of fun (for me as well as Sandy) and one day we found a little pier that goes into a little lake (empty but full of plants) which is blocked off with a fence and a chained gate which can be moved for pedestrian access. This was one of the great discoveries that keeps me coming back because I know that each time I will find something different and it is this mystery that intrigues me (for Sandy it is mostly just all the grass he can urinate on). Then you have learner driving. We often go driving around back roads and into more countryside rather than urban living. Here there are farms and paddocks everywhere and sometimes there are even dirt roads. Generally we make the trip up as we go just to get hours up but we rarely go on dirt roads (even though it is a four-wheel drive). Today however we did go down one of these and it was such a nice drive that seemed to stretch off into paddocks with nothing to see but grass and wooden/wire fences. It was just so peaceful and I cannot wait to go back there or explore some of the other dirt roads that take you into the middle of nowhere and back out again. This is again the mystery that intrigues me and makes me come back for more.

It surely is the mystery of the adventure that spurs us on to new and wonderful places. See you tomorrow!

Random Thought Friday

So you know how you get those random bouts of inspiration during the day but they are only small? Well that is the issue for me most days as I come across a variety of topics I could write about however I struggle to write a whole post on that same topic. So that means that a lot of my inspiration gets stored away and just goes to waste because I can not pair it with anything without making a crap post. Then I decided to make a Random Post Friday where I can just write little bits on some of my random thoughts throughout the week that I wanted to write a post about but never had enough to write. So now, every Friday is Random Thought Friday. Who knows, maybe these themed days will become a thing. Actually, that sounds pretty cool. I might actually look into that. Anyway, onto some more random thoughts.

Source: http://blogs.agilefaqs.com/category/random-thoughts/

Have you ever realised how stubborn some drivers can be. I know I have written previously about bad drivers but stubborn drivers are just as bad. They are so annoying when they are in the right lane (the fastest lane) yet are going slower than those in the left lane (slowest lane [meant to be without these stubborn drivers]). Then they get tooted and abused and they do not care, it really does annoy me a lot. Then you have the inconsiderate people in shopping centres who just move really slowly and there are people behind them trying to get around but they can not because these idiots are blocking the whole area. Does that ever happen to anyone else other than me? Seriously, you are in a rush and suddenly you are stuck behind these two people who just could not care less about anyone but themselves. Seriously, think of others for a change. What about the people who pretend to know everything about everything and then continually ask you all the questions. I mean, they say you are better at the complicated stuff but when it comes to the simple stuff they are better. Come on! If I am better than you at the harder stuff does that not trump the simple stuff and mean I am better than you overall. Wow, that sounded really conceited but I just had to get that out there before I burst. I know! That could be another day, ranting. I would not know what day but it could possibly be a Wednesday or something just to break up the week. I am not setting anything in stone and when I do I will slowly introduce it I think. I will still leave some days open to anything but you may have some theme on Fridays, Saturdays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays (as an example). So there is still room for randomness and spontaneity but you also know what to expect the topic to be around on that day. I reckon it would make it easier for both the reader and the writer (why am I talking about myself in third person). Anyway, see how much I needed a random post? I guess, judging from what I talked about, that I also need a ranting day somewhere.

Random thoughts are just as important as other ones, see you tomorrow!

Advertisements

Have you ever driven somewhere and seen really 'interesting' advertisements? Have you ever watched a television show and then an entirely out-there advertisement comes out of the blue? Even some of the normal advertisements can be so annoying that you just love to hate them. The Rivers commercials are great examples of those advertisements where you have no idea what to think. That monotone of a voice-over just makes the whole thing really boring. There are many other advertisements out there that are just as bad, for want of a better word, in other areas outside of television commercials. Advertisements can really be interesting and, sometimes, very relatable.

Image Source: http://www.funofart.com/cool-informative-advertisements/

Sometimes the most interesting (and hilarious) advertisements are ones that are paired together often just by coincidence. This happens a lot with billboards where you have one advertisement and then, on the next billboard, there is another advertisement that fits in so well with the one before. It is sort of like when you switch between channels mid-sentence and the channel you changed to finished the sentence in an hilarious manner. Have you ever actually done that? It is actually pretty funny sometimes, especially with news bulletins and other shows put together. There were two billboards like what I talked about above a while ago as you come off the Westgate Bridge leaving the City. The first was a work safety advertisement with a little girl asking "Where's Daddy?" Then the next advertisement was a billboard advertising a men's club/lounge (basically a strip-lounge). It went together so well that it made for a few good memes on some of the Australian Facebook Pages. Then there are the all too relatable television commercials. These are the ones that present something meant to be ridiculous but you are actually able to think when that happened to you. This happened to me recently when there was an advertisement where a family was taking a photo together in their living room and then the dog bum-crawls across the scene with a look of ecstasy on his face. It reminded me so much of all the times Sandy has done that, it really was very sad. That is why advertisements can be so annoying and weird. Sometimes this can be because of where they are placed and sometimes it can be because the content is too damn relatable.

Advertisements can be very entertaining so always look on the bright side, see you tomorrow!

The Senior Rebellion

The Following Post is meant to be taken in a comedic, non-serious manner and any offence is not intended. I am sorry for any offence caused by the following post. If you do feel like you wish to raise this issue with me feel free to contact me at legolukeytutorials@gmail.com.

They want action but they want it after their nap. The Senior rebellion has begun and we all best watch out because they are coming for us faster than a speeding wheel chair. What do they want? They have not decided yet but they are getting very riled up. This new craze has spread like wildfire in recent weeks and one incident has spiraled into yet another and the seniors want response from the community. They are sick and tired of something but action is not happening fast enough. Put simply, the Seniors are revolting (as in rebelling) and we all best be on the watch.

Image Source: http://www.hbo.com/curb-your-enthusiasm/episodes/5/44-kamikaze-bingo/slideshow.html

Recently, Seniors all around Melbourne are 'confusing' the accelerator for the brakes. This causes them to 'accidentally' drive through shop-fronts and into unsuspecting customers. They claim these are all accidents but I see through these lies. I see the frequency of these events as what they are; a secret rebellion involving the elderly generation of our society. All over the state there are secret meetings held in retirement and nursing homes as well as Senior Centers. As of now there is no proof of this but trust me, one day you will all look back at this and think "Wow, Luke really notices these things" though you will all probably think "Wow, Luke really is paranoid." Even I am thinking of that as I am typing. Seriously though, there are shops being run down in Collingwood and Bakeries terrorised in Prahran by confused Seniors. When the time comes let it be known that "Luke warned us" but no one listened. Although this moment, if it ever comes, would surprise me just as much as the next person.

Let it be known that I did warn you, see you tomorrow!

Horrible Drivers

Can I just say that there are some really bad drivers on the roads. I mean, bad drivers. They do the silliest of things and are all around us everyday. Just today when we were driving home from Piano lessons (a mere 15 minutes) I saw three examples of horrible driving. Sometimes I can even hear hoons around our estate really late at night and incredibly early in the morning. They really are annoying and I would hate to live near to these 'hoon' hot spots. Some times I wonder how much these people must have bribed the person who conducted their driving test.

Image Source: http://blog.cargurus.com/2008/09/29/lets-change-the-driving-age-to-18

How many drivers think that having their stereo system turned so loud that the cars around them vibrate makes them cool? There are so many of these drivers around my area these days that sometimes you can be listening to quite a few songs at the one time. Actually, come to think of it, my own brother does this in the mornings before he goes to work. It really is very hard to practice Piano in the morning when the radio is on in the kitchen and his iPod is blaring in the bathroom. It really annoys me because I can not concentrate! One of the most annoying things drivers can do on the roads is to not use their indicators when they are in a lane that goes in more than one direction. I hate when this happens because you have no idea where they are going. It really annoys me and even my Dad 'forgets' to put his blinkers on sometimes so it is like some big surprise trip whenever I go somewhere with him because I never know which direction we are going until the last minute. Really makes you enjoy being a passenger, not.

Image Source: http://m.lockerz.com/u/ulises.sotelo7550/decalz/15064562/dog_is_sick_of_all_these_horrible_driver

Also there are the drivers who just can not make up their mind as to where they are going. These are the people who cross three lanes of heavy traffic on a freeway at the last minute just so they can take the exit. These are also the people who block up the turning lane because they want to go forward. This is annoying for me because to get to my house you have to take a turning lane. Many times drivers at the front have decided to go straight forward when they are not allowed to which means we lose out on a whole cycle of lights. So annoying! Also there are some of the 'P' plated drivers on the road that think going as fast as possible is the coolest thing ever. These are the people you hear hooning around your area late at night. These are the people who make me wonder how much it takes to bribe the people who conduct the driving tests. So as you can see there are some really horrible drivers out there. Please do not become one of them!

Image Source: 

http://www.sodahead.com/living/do-you-trust-grandma-behind-the-wheel/question-1984787/?page=6

May the odds be ever in your favour, see you tomorrow!

Do people think anymore?

I have to ask, do people think any more? Obviously they do from time to time but when it comes to some simple things people really make me think that they don't actually think (how many times can I use think in one sentence? Think think think...). People can make some stupid decisions (I myself have made many) that are obviously either incorrect or incredibly simple yet still confuse some people. The greatest example of this that everyone has done at least 10 times in their lifetime is pushing a door that says "Pull". I mean, how many times have people done that. The worst part is that that is not the worst decision I have seen some people make.

There are many other stupid decisions that people make everyday that really make me question the future of humanity. One of these decisions is driving down a road that clearly has an arrow pointing in the OPPOSITE direction. I have seen this happen so many times in the Woolworths car park when we go shopping. In fact, there were three people I saw today doing this, all within the space of 5 minutes and 24 seconds (I was timing how long it would take my father to get the newspaper). It is really stupid because at the entrance to the road they were coming down was a large sign saying "No Entrance" and then on the road was a big white arrow pointing out, not in to the road. Seriously, it really made me worry for these people. As we were pulling out of the car park even there was a stand off of two cars going down the same one-way road (so one of them was going the wrong way) and it was like a stand off you see on an old Western Film (You know, the films with actors like John Wayne) and they were still just staring at each other as we drove off (and Dad was in no hurry by the way). Some people these days; entertaining but stupid.

Another instance of people not thinking straight is when people slow down to drive past speed cameras (the ones with the police-people [trying not to be sexually vilifying] in the cars) but continue to use their phones while driving past. Sometimes I don't think people actually know the road rules regarding phones. The amount of people who drive past these types of speed cameras texting or using their phone is ridiculous and they know the speed camera is there because they slow down. I mean, come on! Leave me with some faith in the future of our world please! What is the point of slowing down if the people behind the camera are going to pull you over anyway for using your phone? Use common sense people! Don't ask me why I used this photo, I just thought it was funny and was related in a way.

So there are many things that people do that make me wonder whether they actually think. Sometimes I wonder how long humanity will last before we begin de-evolving (hey, I can make up words too) or just die out because we gradually use our minds less and less. Why not comment down below on the stupid things you see people do?

May the odds be ever in your favour, goodbye!