If Idioms Were Real

People are always saying some really weird things like "when pigs fly" or "the lights are on but nobody's home" which are actually metaphors for other things. They are not supposed to be taken literally but imagine if they were. Imagine if whenever someone said something like this they meant it literally. Life would be a whole lot more entertaining, not to mention confusing. For one, the fire departments all around the world would be receiving a lot more calls as bridges everywhere were burnt. For, as they say, people tend to "burn their bridges" with other people on accident. In some ways this would be a good thing as it would provide more jobs but would also reduce the voices of the volunteer community as Career Firefighters are known to be a little more confident and, dare I say it, a little too sure of themselves. This is not even the worst idiom that would be horrible to come true. Even Pigs flying would not be as bad as some of the things that could happen.

Image Source: http://stevelaube.com/never-burn-a-bridge/

Have you ever heard the phrase "oh, that person looks like they have brought everything but the kitchen sink"? Well, imagine if that actually was real and you saw people carrying around their fridges, washing machines, desks, drawers and basically everything they own. It would bring a whole new meaning to the term "portable living". The only item that would ever remain unmoved would be a single kitchen sink. Then you have people telling others to "use their loaf" as in their mind. Well imagine if people actually just walked around with loaves of bread just so they could use them some time. It would appear that Hansel and Gretel would not be the only ones to leave a trail of bread crumbs. Sure, the Peeta Mellarks of our world would be in love with the high demand of the bread but for the rest of us, a dirty mess would be the norm. Then there are the people who have, as some put it, a "cast-iron stomach" as in they can eat almost anything. Could you imagine how uncomfortable that would be to walk around all day with an iron stomach. You would be so tired from carrying that weight around with you all day it would be ridiculous. What about all the easy tasks in our World, would they still be considered a "piece of cake". Do you know how confusing that would be to some people? It's like saying a linear equation is a piece of cake". Metaphorically it is easy but literally it is most certainly not a piece of cake. Sure, you could graph the size of a cake based on the number of people served but try imagining someone describing a question as a literal piece of cake, it would be as if every subject was a Food Technology subject. So as you can see, idioms come in many forms and if taken literally can be very confusing.

Don't let the bed bugs bite, see you tomorrow!